A class was going on... The teacher asked a boy : If you have 12 chocolates and from that you give 3 to meena, 4 to sheena and 5 to sita.
what will you get??? The Boy replied (after sometime) : Sir!!! 3 new girlfriends!!
Choosing career is like choosing wife from 10 girlfriends...
Even if u pick the most beautiful, most intelligent, kindest woman,
there's still pain of loosing 9..
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.
The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100."
The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time,
but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd he will gather all the required fine"
Some men Join Army b'coz they are Single and they like war...
Other men Join Army b'coz they are married and they like peace..!!
Dark were those days without your sight,
When I was in darkness, you gave me light,
You gave me strength to make life bright,
Thank you so much....
PHILIPS TUBELIGHT!!!
Girl - Main tere liye sab kuch Chhod dungi!
Boy - Parents?
Girl - Yes!
Boy - Khana Peena?
Girl - Yes!
Boy - Friends?
Girl - Yes!
Boy - Star Plus?
Girl - Muh Sambhaal ke bol kutte!!
I did anything wrong?
Then why are you avoiding me?
At least remember me once in a week...
It's really hurting me...
With Love,
Your....
TOOTHBRUSH!!!
We will now upgrade your brain....
Please wait....
Searching....
10%
Searching...
40%
Still Searching....
Sorry,NO BRAIN found...!
When a man talks dirty to a woman,
it's sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man,
it's $3.95 per minute..!!
News : 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt
message..!!
(Complementary Joke)
CNN News : Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this...!!
(This one contains riddles...!)
Special Offer!!
Bring chits in Exam Hall,
Show it to your Invigillator,
And win a free trip to Principal's office and enjoy vacation at home!!
Want You
To Be With Me
In A Nice Restaurant
To Have Candle Light Dinner
& I Say Those Sweet Three Words To U . .
" PAY THE BILL
American : Our DOGS find bombs..!!
Japanese : Our fishes play football..!!
Indian : Yeh to kuch bhi nahi, humare yahan to GADHE bhi cricket
khelte hai!!!
Man : Meri wife kho gayi...!
PostMaster : Sir, yeh post office hai... Police Station mein complaint
karaiyen...!
Man : Khushi ke maare samajh hi nahi aa raha kya karun!!!
delhi k paas k nizamudin railwaystation ki train no. 6162 k route k
3rd station bharatpur k ek chote se gaon k nazdek wale kabristan k
chowkidar ki kabr pe baithe hue kutte ki aage wali right side ki taang ki
tisri ungli k nakhun k paas chupe hue chichar k pait mein rehne wale
bacteria k chromosomal DNA k thymine nucleotide k 5th carbon k outer shell k
4th electron ki kasam SIRF HELLO KEHNE KE LIYE messege KIYA HAI
sehwag ko mayur pehnao/ sachin ko pepsi pilao / dhoni ko brylcream
lagvao / ganguly ko chawanprash khilao / dravid me castrol bharvao / lekin
in kameeno se cricket mat khilvao
When u feel lonely and alone &
cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist!!
If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds..... . Open ur
eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
fool....
I wrote ur name on the sands....... ...... it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......i got a HEART ATTACK
LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in
ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers
True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain &
u can embrace when u r happy so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
Child : Papa, is it true that love is blind?
Father : Yes, son!
Child : Then what happens after marriage?
Father : (sigh) Marriage opens the eys, son!!
Chandramukhi
Tu chandramukhi main surajmukhi,
tu mujhse dukhi main tujhse dukhi.
Chatt se chhalang laga de, phir tu bhi sukhi,
main bhi sukhi.
WIFE
Husband asks,
Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.
A wife who is ..
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!
On the door of a toilet ....
Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like
thunder!
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....
But because you are my friend,
I'll kill you for nothing!
Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai....
what will you get??? The Boy replied (after sometime) : Sir!!! 3 new girlfriends!!
Choosing career is like choosing wife from 10 girlfriends...
Even if u pick the most beautiful, most intelligent, kindest woman,
there's still pain of loosing 9..
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.
The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100."
The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time,
but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd he will gather all the required fine"
Some men Join Army b'coz they are Single and they like war...
Other men Join Army b'coz they are married and they like peace..!!
Dark were those days without your sight,
When I was in darkness, you gave me light,
You gave me strength to make life bright,
Thank you so much....
PHILIPS TUBELIGHT!!!
Girl - Main tere liye sab kuch Chhod dungi!
Boy - Parents?
Girl - Yes!
Boy - Khana Peena?
Girl - Yes!
Boy - Friends?
Girl - Yes!
Boy - Star Plus?
Girl - Muh Sambhaal ke bol kutte!!
I did anything wrong?
Then why are you avoiding me?
At least remember me once in a week...
It's really hurting me...
With Love,
Your....
TOOTHBRUSH!!!
We will now upgrade your brain....
Please wait....
Searching....
10%
Searching...
40%
Still Searching....
Sorry,NO BRAIN found...!
When a man talks dirty to a woman,
it's sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man,
it's $3.95 per minute..!!
News : 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt
message..!!
(Complementary Joke)
CNN News : Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this...!!
(This one contains riddles...!)
Special Offer!!
Bring chits in Exam Hall,
Show it to your Invigillator,
And win a free trip to Principal's office and enjoy vacation at home!!
Want You
To Be With Me
In A Nice Restaurant
To Have Candle Light Dinner
& I Say Those Sweet Three Words To U . .
" PAY THE BILL
American : Our DOGS find bombs..!!
Japanese : Our fishes play football..!!
Indian : Yeh to kuch bhi nahi, humare yahan to GADHE bhi cricket
khelte hai!!!
Man : Meri wife kho gayi...!
PostMaster : Sir, yeh post office hai... Police Station mein complaint
karaiyen...!
Man : Khushi ke maare samajh hi nahi aa raha kya karun!!!
delhi k paas k nizamudin railwaystation ki train no. 6162 k route k
3rd station bharatpur k ek chote se gaon k nazdek wale kabristan k
chowkidar ki kabr pe baithe hue kutte ki aage wali right side ki taang ki
tisri ungli k nakhun k paas chupe hue chichar k pait mein rehne wale
bacteria k chromosomal DNA k thymine nucleotide k 5th carbon k outer shell k
4th electron ki kasam SIRF HELLO KEHNE KE LIYE messege KIYA HAI
sehwag ko mayur pehnao/ sachin ko pepsi pilao / dhoni ko brylcream
lagvao / ganguly ko chawanprash khilao / dravid me castrol bharvao / lekin
in kameeno se cricket mat khilvao
When u feel lonely and alone &
cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist!!
If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds..... . Open ur
eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
fool....
I wrote ur name on the sands....... ...... it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......i got a HEART ATTACK
LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in
ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers
True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain &
u can embrace when u r happy so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
Child : Papa, is it true that love is blind?
Father : Yes, son!
Child : Then what happens after marriage?
Father : (sigh) Marriage opens the eys, son!!
Chandramukhi
Tu chandramukhi main surajmukhi,
tu mujhse dukhi main tujhse dukhi.
Chatt se chhalang laga de, phir tu bhi sukhi,
main bhi sukhi.
WIFE
Husband asks,
Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.
A wife who is ..
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!
On the door of a toilet ....
Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like
thunder!
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....
But because you are my friend,
I'll kill you for nothing!
Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai....
